


Punchline Castrates Batman

by The_145th_King



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Batman Femdom, F/M, Femdom, small penis humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_145th_King/pseuds/The_145th_King
Summary: Batman is subjected to physical and verbal torture by DC's newest badass chick, Punchline!As a prelude to his War, Joker has drugged Bruce Wayne with his deadliest toxin ever. Low on testosterone and senses severely overwhelmed, Batman must refuse to be demoralized in a one-night stand against Gotham's hottest rogue.
Relationships: Batman/Punchline, Joker/Punchline
Kudos: 8





	Punchline Castrates Batman

"Do you like what you see?"

Against his better judgement, Bruce nodded his head.

"This feels like a set-up..." 

"Then I'm the Punchline. I'm where you end."

He was not normally startled. But Bruce Wayne felt a shiver up his spine when he heard such an alluring voice turn deadly. 

"Where the hell are we?!" Batman vigorously demanded to know.

"You're inside a room with a woman."

They were inside a boiler room filled with dead pigs placed on hooks.

"What else?!"

"Huh? Isn't the idea of you being alone with me enough for you?"

She sauntered closer to him. Bruce noticed the knives hidden on her clothing.

"Take one step closer, or I will hurt you."

"I doubt that."

"I'm serious."

"You almost tripped on your ridiculous cape at the moment you saw my swing my hips."

"There's nothing beautiful about you."

"Reallt? Then you might be really blind as a bat, after all."

She placed her arms around his cowl.

"This is your final warning. Get off me."

"Why? Is this your first time, or are you only into men?"

"No!" Batman was defensive and uncomfortable.

"Really? Why else would you have an underage boy dress is tights?"

"His name is Robin."

"How cute. You gave your pet a name."

"He's my sidekick."

"Shouldn't you be more interested in naked women instead of yoing boys?"

"I am not gay." Batman affirmed.

"That's a nice theory."

Drugged or not, Bruce balled up his fist and was about to hit her. He was not going to allow her to demean him.

But Punchline‘s lips smacked upwards onto his. Batman’s eyes widened.

“Mmgh…”

This was happening too fast.

"Don't ou know how to kiss women?" Punchline was unimpressed, "Or are you too busy thinking about touching small boys?"

"Leave Tim out of this!" He grumbled.

Bruce allowed to continue on a misguided attempt to control the situation. Never mind the fact that he let slip the identity of his ally.

“This feels good, doesn’t it?” She murmured.

“Yes…” He trailed off.

"Imagine what else can feel good tonight?" Bruce couldn't even control his body temperature at this point. "A firm body of a lady is the cure for the perversiom of any man, no matter how freakish."

Punchline's tongue forcefully entered his mouth and went to town. Her overgrown chest pushed and rubbed onto his bat-symbol. She had her way with him.

Her leg brushed against his utility belt. Her hand played over his abdomen. Batman’s own hands confusingly tried to hug her back.

"Is this what you wanted...?" Batman spat out in between her lips.

“I wanted to find the Big Bad Bat tonight.”

“You found him.” He tried to coolly play it off.

"With how heavy you were as I carried you here, I am looking forward to how much meat you were packing."

"Baby," Bruce almost grinned, "This night is far from over. You will get a load of me."

Bruce rarely was sleazy except for special nights. This was one of them.

"I'll get a load of you, huh?"

"All the best of me. Just let me in."

Bruce tried to bring his own tongue inside of her mouth, of which she effortlessly prevented.

"Don't get too excited. My boyfriend won't like it."

"The night is young. And he won't have to hear a thing."

Bruce's hands found her hips. He tried to gently lower them to a different position.

“Strange…”

“What is it?” Batman was dumbstruck.

“I thought it would be bigger.” She remarked in a deadpan tone.

“What would—ugh!” He felt a stinging pain.

Her kneecap drove straight between his legs.

"What's wrong?"

"You know damn well what's wrong? Cheap shot!"

"I wanted to test the size of it before getting too carried away."

"It hurts like hell!" Batman keeled over, and was heavily panting and leaning onto her to avoid falling.

"Based on how much you complained, I'm glad I did."

"I've taken beatings from Superman. But I have never been hit below the belt before."

"Don't be a wimp. The Joker could have taken a hundred of these and he would still laugh."

"The Joker..."

"He's my boyfriend."

He tried to look at her eyes, and what he saw was filles with mischief.

"He's corruptef you. Don't you see?! He's controlling you!"

"Controlling me? The same way you are controlling the stiffy beneath your belt?" She gave a dismissive chuckle. "Don't deny it. I was confused at first at why I almost felt nothing, but it was there all right. Being abused turns you on, doesn't it?"

"Nobody enjoys abuse." Bruce lied.

She sighed, as if a parent disappointed on their child. "Listen, kiddo. Don't be ashamed of being happy when you're being dominated by a sexual alpha female. I heard the stories between you and Catwoman and Batgirl. But do you know what I can't stand?" She pinched his nose and wigglee it aroundz "Naughty kids who are dishonest about it."

She was suddenly uninterested in him. She removed her lips from his face.

"Do you know who you're speaking to?!"

“Clearly not a lover. I thought I was speaking with a man. Which you are clearly not with you literal little brown bat under your pants."

“What are you talking about?! I am the Dark Knight!”

“You’re more of a Little Knight.”

Bruce started panting heavily into her chest, he didn't want to give away the fact that the pain was getting worse.

“I am the World’s Greatest Detective.”

Punchline looked below Bruce's belt, “You are the World’s Greatest Disappointment.”

She nibbled his cheek and licked behind his ear. She didn't give him time to recover.

“I am Vengeance-ce!” He stuttered.

“With something like this," Punchline rubbed salt in the wound by rubbing her knee upwards, "You should be named Batbaby.”

“I… am Batman.” He struggled to breathe, as he uncontrollably felt his cheeks redden.

“Of course you are, kiddo.” She pushed her tongue inside her cheek.

“Open your mouth again, and I’ll shove something down your throat!” Batman rasped out without context.

“Okay. I was going to let the poison finish you off. But you annoy me.”

"Shut up, criminal."

"Your stiffy is not even a fraction of Joker's size." Puncline despaired, as Batman coughed onto her.

She brought her leg back, and winded it up. “I have a few questions for you though. If you answer them, I might consider not busting your Batbaby tonight.”

“I don’t answer to criminals.” Without Punchline holding him up, Batman would have fallen already due to the pain. 

“When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?”

“What?!” His cheeks were burning hot. “No!”

“When you were born, did the doctor diagnose you as a girl?”

“Quiet!”

His hand pushed on her shoulder for support.

“You’re no fun.”

“The only fun you’ll have tonight is when I get you on your knees!”

She merely sighed.

“No, wait!”

Smash! She attacked his Batkid. He was groggy.

“Shh. Shh. It’s going to be all right, Batbaby.” She purred and stroked his cowl. She was speaking to him as if he was a child. She played with his adorable pointy ears. “Soon Mommy Punchline will make the pain go away.”

Batman figured it out. Her name was Punchline.

“You’re name is Punchline.”

“Wow. I hope your brain is not smaller than the belly button beneath your stomach, kiddo.”

“I am not a child!” He was taken aback. “Do not speak to me as such!”

She cocked an eyebrow. “Aww, it's so adorable how your nose crinkles when you get mad.” She whipped back her hair, and her fingers played with his cheeks.

Noticing how hot his cheeks were, she gave it a kiss to make it better.

“I am no baby!”

“Only a real man can tangle with Punchline.” She bragged and ignored him, as she looked somewhere else in the room for something to amuse her. "I bet these pigs have more meat than you."

“Damn you!” He tried to stand up, but he slipped and his head fell for support on her shoulder.

Their bodies were in such close contact. She pressed her cheeks to his side."

“Get away from me...!”

“I’m sure you get this from all the gals, but is it true?”

“What is?!” Batman gritted his teeth.

“The fast cars. The expensive tech.” To emphasize her point, she brought her fingers to show a distance smaller than a pencil. “Is it true that you’re overcompensating?”

“How dare you?!”

“It’s an honest question.”

“I am Batman!” He dully repeated, as he fell on one knee.

“Okay.” She casually replied.

“I bring justice to these streets. I bring peace and order. I fight my war against criminal scum like you since I was a child.”

“Well, I know one thing for sure.” She neared her mouth to his pointy ears and whispered, “You really are a child.”

Batman roared and raised his fist, but before he could strike-WAM! She smashed him again as easy as exercise.

“Argh!”

“Don’t piss Mommy off, kiddo.”

“Be quiet, whore!”

“Tsk tsk.” She was about to start a machine gun-knee spree on him. “This is what kids get when their naughty.”

“No!” Batman started to sweat.

“You’re batgroin is so thin, I have seen paper clips wider!”

Wham!”

“When you stroke yourself, are you afraid it’s going to explode?”

Boom!

“When you send pictures of your Little Richard to Catwoman, do you always have to point out where it is?”

Wham!

“Hope you don’t get turned down by Poison Ivy with that baby carrot you got down there.”

Bam! Batman sweat flew to her, and he breathed asthmatically into her ear.

“Nothing is sexier than an overgrown manchild blubbering over a lady.” Punchline snapped.

“Do… your worst.” Batman foolishly spat out. "I have been tortured by Bane and the League of Assassins, intoxicated by Scarecrow and the worst chemicals, and have been killed by gods. Nothing you do can break me!"

She gave a toothy grin.

If Bruce had been a girl, Punchline grabbed him by the pussy.

"Give me a minute, kiddo. I had a hard time getting a hold of something that almost doesn't exist."

He wanted to retreat from her, but doing so would rip off his body.

"Is this the hardest it could get?" Punchine sniggered at Batman, "How can a woman work with such a small tool?"

She licked his ear.

"But anyway, I'm a professional." She started whispering sweet nothings.

“Your robin is so small that I bet that you can fill-in a computer USB port.”

“Your robin is so small that I bet the actual Robin is bigger than you.”

This went on for hours. 

“Do you have a hard time looking for the restroom?”

“Why do you need a belt when you need a dress?”

Punchline pushed him up a wall, further violating him.

“Your doctor must have had a microscope when you were born, because your Robin is so small that you make my pinky finger a demi-god.”

“Catwoman must feel like she’s being pricked with a needle when she takes you to the bed. When you try to pleasure her, is it mission impossible?”

Punchline's free hand kept Bruce's eyes to look into her own.

“You can pleasure yourself with the eye of a needle. My strong hands are not ideal for this task.”

“How do you ever know when you’re hard? When a wrinkle forms under your pants? Do you even know the concept of being hard?”

“Do you confuse a foot with an inch every time?” She guffawed at that one.

She then started to stroke him.

"How does a woman please with a mechanically challenged man-child with an undeveloped anatomy? I always love a challenge."

Batman started gagging. He wanted to go faster.

"Is this getting to rough for you, kiddo? Do you want Punchline to hold her hand?" She pouted her lips.

Punchline's hand held his limp glove.

"It's no surprise to me that your hand is small."

Batman dumbly replied, "How did you know?!"

Punchline looked at him like he really was the World's Dumbest Man, "Actually, real women wouldn't be fooled by artificial padding. Joker has given me a taste of real meat, of which you are clearly lacking."

"Don't mention him!" Bruce frustratingly pleaded.

"Why? Don't feel so insecure, kiddo. I can mention the Riddler and Penguin, and they would be more satisfying than you. As it stands, you're not even qualified to be a functioning boy toy"

"Nng."

Punchline's hand slipped from his junk from moment to moment. She smiled at him, exasperated, "Kiddo, if you want this to work, then you really have to lower your expectations. Only real men can go fast."

Bruce wanted to slow down, but he was unable to.

"I have held knives easier to handle than the pathetic thing I'm holding now. Slow down, or I might rip it off."

Bruce quivered, but he wanted to defy her.

“When this is over…” Batman started to threaten. “I will have myself inside you…”

“And I will ask, is it already in?” She replied without missing a beat.

Before she can make her next joke, Batman already jazzed.

“Oh. Done already?” Punchline ended with a classic line, as Batbaby dozed off due to exhaustion. "Now that's the real punchline."

**Author's Note:**

> Batman has always been written so well and sometimes as a Mary Sue, that it is always a nice time to write stories that show extreme vulnerability. If you have a better roast against Batman's robin then post it on the comments. Please give a kudos if you are interested in seeing one more chapter. Thank you for reading.


End file.
